At some point we begin to notice that… our parents aren’t perfect! I always kind of knew this, of course, and Mommy was always the first to say so, but at one point I began really noticing it.
It is aggravating! I wished I could just to back to thinking my parents
were perfect! I went through a time that I was really struggling with having a good attitude, because I thought that they should or should not be doing such-and-such. I am ashamed to even write that. Not to mention, how “perfect” am I, exactly?!
I am ever so very grateful to Jesus for helping me through this time, and opening my eyes! There is no way you can get out of that pit by yourself, and it is a miserable pit to be in.
I have several younger friends that I see struggling in a similar way that I did. I had always noticed a change in them when they began to pull away from their parents. I am not necessarily talking about open rebellion, just a pulling away. You could tell they didn’t esteem their parents in the way that they used to. And they changed from being a happy, cheerful young lady, into a very unhappy looking one. It makes me hurt every time I see it.
One day Proverbs 1:7-9 stood out to me in a new way:
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:
For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.
I always kind of skimmed over verse 9. An ornament of grace to grace my head? A chain (medal) around my neck? That did sound nice, but we don’t normally get a medal for obeying our parents, and wear it while doing the dishes!
Then it clicked. That ornament of grace is the sweet spirit, and cheerful sweetness that comes from being in respecting our authority. And let me tell you girls–you look beautiful, not just pretty, when you wear this ornament. I really mean that. I am not just talking about the fact that your attitude is beautiful (though of course that is the most important part!), but that your attitude comes out and physically makes you beautiful, too! You may have friends who seem to be prettier than you on the outside, but you shine!
Have you ever struggled with being “embarrassed” about something your parents do or say? I have come to the realization, through watching different friends, that in the first place, others hardly ever think of your parents as being strange for doing or saying it, and secondly, even if they do think your parents are strange, they will not blame the children for the parent’s behavior!!! Even more, I’d much rather see a girl laugh right along with her parents and every one else than roll her eyes. I respect her more. Not to mention she’s much more sweet and attractive 😉
When I was struggling, I did not entirely trust my parents. When you are a young girl at home and you cannot trust your parents, who can you trust? You may put your trust in your friends, but deep down you still cannot trust them the same way you can trust your parents. At least I can’t. And now that you are “on your own” and do not have those best of friends, your parents, you begin to become very self-focused. After all, you must take care of yourself now that you cannot trust them to do so anymore.
So how do we deal with our struggles? We might be struggling, but we don’t exactly want to stay here. We don’t enjoy it. Verse one of Proverbs 7 says that the “fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge”; when we struggle, don’t run away from Jesus, come closer to Him. You need Him more than ever right now. Ask Him, “will you help me?”
He will say yes, because we already know it is His desire that you honor your parents, and He will put the desire and the power in you to do it.
Psalm 27:10 says, “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up (take care of me).” For many of us our parents may not have physically left us, but we may feel that they have, or more common, our hearts have left them. But whatever way it is, Jesus will care for us, and He will help us. Hallelujah!
“My child, when you are tired, do not be disheartened. Most of your discouragement comes when you carry your own burden, forgetting to call upon Me for help. Give Me everything, and quickly; for as soon as any heaviness of spirit sets in, trust is crowded out. An atmosphere of anxiety or unhappiness is withering to faith.”
Frances Roberts
Trusting in the authority in our lives is something we should be preparing for our inward hope chest. If we can trust that the Father has given us the right parents, and that He can give us guidance through them, then hopefully someday we imperfect wives will still be able to rest in the freedom of trusting our imperfect husbands!
originally posted on Feelin’ Feminine for the “Chest of Hopes” column.
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Amazing, absolutely amazing!! That was JUST what I needed right now!! Even though I’m only almost 16, I’m rapidly (frighteningly!) nearing the age of adulthood, and believe you me, I struggle TERRIBLY with my parents most of the time. I feel like they’re my blockage from doing hardly anything I want, AND a blockage from wrong things and influences. Thank you SO much for the timely encouragement, Jessica! This blog is starting to sound like A Pondering Heart, lol!! 😉 I like that, though! 😀
what a lovely post Jessica….so encouraging 😉
That sounds EXACTLY what my friend Vanessa would say!! 😀 Hehe! 😆
So glad it could be encouraging, girls! Once you can trust and rest in your parent’s protection, that ‘blockage’ becomes a huge blessing! Which I’m sure you already know 😀
{hugs!} love you both!
Jessica
Love you too!
[hugs!]
LOVE YOU TOO!!! {HUGS!}
I’ve been following your blog for a little while now after my sister introduced me 🙂 Always enjoy the pictures and the posts. This article was so good, Jessica! This is sooo true. I struggled with the same thing for a while, but after I made it right, I was SO happy. (And it made me realize how unhappy I really was before.) Thank you for sharing this!
Thanks for commenting and sharing, Victoria! You are right…it really is sweet to trust, both in Jesus and in our authority 🙂
Hey Jessica,
You have no idea how much I needed to read this. As I type right now tears are going everywhere.
“when we struggle, don’t run away from Jesus, come closer to Him. ”
This is what I have failed to do. Instead of running to my savior I am running away from him. Trying to protect my heart from all of the “hurts” when I am really just hurting it even more. Jessica, the Lord used this to really speak to me. It touched the tender hurting part of me, something that I have hid for so long.
“My child, when you are tired, do not be disheartened. Most of your discouragement comes when you carry your own burden, forgetting to call upon Me for help.”
I have been caring my burden around for to long now. Trying to get through the day when it is continually getting heavier and heavier.
” Give Me everything, and quickly; for as soon as any heaviness of spirit sets in, trust is crowded out. An atmosphere of anxiety or unhappiness is withering to faith.”
This is what I need to do. Please pray for me.
Love ya lots girl,
Kelsye
P.S. did you get my last e-mail? I hope it went through:)
Hey Kelsye! My dear well-grounded-southern-spinster didn’t fall off the face of the earth after all 😀 I’ve missed your comments!
I’m so, so glad that the post could be an encouragement to you! It is so encouraging to me to know that my struggles can encourage other girls as well…God is SO good, and so amazing! Yes! I got your email, and have been wanting to write you a letter…I just haven’t done it yet :blush: 🙂 Do you still have an email address? If so, I have something to forward to you, but if not, I’ll print it off and send it to you 🙂
Love you, too, Kelsye! And I’ll most definitely be praying for you!
{{Big Hugs!}}
Jessica
Hey Jessica:)
Im still on the face of the earth. or at least I think that I am lol:) I don’t have a e-mail address anymore. I used my moms so that I could post a comment 😀 I will be looking forward to getting your letter:)
Thank you,
Kelsye
I’m going through the exact same thing right now. I am so tired of the never-ending cycle! I don’t have the strength to even cry for long sometimes. Please pray for me as well, and I’ll be trying harder to be different, and remember to read my Bible more often. 😀 By the way, Jessica, you’ll never guess who I dreamt about last night! 😉
I’ll be praying for you, Hannah 🙂 You’re on my ‘list of girls’ that I pray for regularly 😉 Something that really helped me, was when I heard a speaker say that our love for God is very real, and He sees it as real, no matter how small, immature and weak it is. It moves His heart when we make the smallest move toward Him 🙂 He rejoices over you, Hannah! Zeph. 3:17
Oh dear! Who’d you dream about??!! 😀
Hugs!
Jessica
That was very sweet, Jessica! Thank you so much for encouraging me, it means alot. 😀 I dreamt of you girls!! I guess I was at your house or something, and we were just playing and laughing! It was sooo real and fun! I’ve only seen you girls in videos and pictures, so isn’t it funny that it was as if I had met you already?!! 😀
Hugs!
Hehe! That is funny!
Jessica
Wonderful post! Incredibly well said 😀
Is that……….a………a……….an old family picture?? *faints on floor*
ROFL! No, unfortunately not 😀 Those little girls would be awful cute cousins 😀
Jessica